Living with an Abusive Woman
The Other Side of Domestic Violence
by Benjamin Bailey, PhD
- Nonfiction
- Psychology
- Domestic Violence
- Family & Relationships
The Book
Twenty-five years on the front lines of domestic abuse have brought social worker and psychotherapist Benjamin Bailey face-to-face with a painful reality hidden in plain sight. Domestic violence spares no one, crossing boundaries of wealth, education, social status, culture, and profession. Yet while it is easy to associate masculinity with danger and violence, it is far harder to recognize the men who live in fear and shame behind closed doors.
Living With an Abusive Woman is a clinical and research-based exploration of men who are victims of intimate partner violence perpetrated by women. Combining research with firsthand clinical experience, Bailey examines the psychological, emotional, physical, financial, and legal forms this abuse can take, the barriers that keep men from seeking help, and the cultural stigma that leaves many suffering in silence.
The book opens with ten men’s stories drawn from clinical testimony, then grounds them in international research. Later chapters explore the dynamics of female-perpetrated violence, its psychological toll on men, its impact on fatherhood and children, and the way police, courts, and welfare services respond to male victims. The Afterword proposes “Hybrid Masculinity,” which integrates emotional awareness with traditional strength, as a path forward.
Why This Book Matters
For decades, intimate partner violence has been framed mainly as men harming women. That framework has done much to protect women, but Bailey argues that it captures only one of three major patterns: violence by men, violence by women, and mutual violence. Leaving the other two unseen, he contends, limits our ability to understand, prevent, and respond to partner violence as a whole.
Bailey supports his argument with international research, including New Zealand’s long-running Dunedin Study, in which 37% of women and 22% of men reported having physically assaulted a partner, and a WHO cross-national study of 1,821 couples that found mutual violence to be the most common pattern. He acknowledges that male violence tends to cause more serious injury, and he does not treat recognition of male victims as a zero-sum contest. A self-described feminist, he argues that an accurate picture of partner violence in all its forms strengthens the broader effort to protect every victim.
The book is written for professionals as much as for general readers. It offers social workers, therapists, police, judges, and family lawyers a framework for assessing which pattern of violence is present in a family, while giving men who are living with abuse the language to recognize what is happening to them.
About the Book
Genre: Nonfiction / Psychology / Domestic Violence / Family & Relationships
Published on July 19, 2026 | 93,600 Words
For readers of Lundy Bancroft’s Why Does He Do That? and Philip W. Cook’s Abused Men, Living With an Abusive Woman offers a clinician’s view of a side of domestic violence that is rarely discussed.
Author
Benjamin Bailey, PhD
Benjamin Bailey, PhD, is a clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and faculty member in the Department of Criminology at Western Galilee Academic College. His research and teaching focus on domestic violence, child maltreatment, masculinity, and fatherhood.
His clinical career began more than twenty-five years ago in a rehabilitation hostel for men who had behaved violently toward their partners and children. Since then, through decades of therapeutic and academic work, he has explored the complex realities of harmful family and couple relationships.
Bailey writes not as an outside critic but as a seasoned clinician, drawing on direct experience with the cases he describes. Identifying himself as a feminist, he writes with compassion for all victims of abuse.
Rights Status
Publishing Rights Available
Translation Rights Available
Film Rights Available
Audio Rights Available
Comparable Titles
This book is suitable for readers who enjoyed:
- Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
- Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence by Philip W. Cook
- The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker
BISAC Categories
- FAM001010 – FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Abuse / Domestic Partner Abuse
- FAM020000 – FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Parenting / Fatherhood
- SOC004000 – SOCIAL SCIENCE / Criminology
Themes
- Men as Victims of Intimate Partner Violence
- Shame, Silence, and Masculinity
- Psychological, Financial, and Legal Abuse
- Fatherhood and Children’s Well-Being
- How Police, Courts, and Welfare Services Respond
- Research on Gender and Partner Violence
- Seeing Every Victim
- Hybrid Masculinity
Keywords
For readers interested in:
- Domestic violence and intimate partner abuse
- Male victims of abuse
- Psychology and clinical social work
- Fatherhood, custody, and family law
- Masculinity and gender studies
- Criminology and the justice system
- Coercive control in relationships
- Professional training for social workers and police
FAQ
What is the book about?
Men who experience intimate partner violence from female partners: the forms this abuse takes, its psychological effects, its impact on fatherhood, and how professionals and institutions respond.
Is the book against women or feminism?
No. The author identifies as a feminist and argues that recognizing every pattern of partner violence strengthens the effort to protect all victims, women included.
What is the book based on?
More than twenty-five years of clinical work, ten case stories drawn from clinical testimony, and a review of international research on partner violence.
Has this book been published before?
Yes, on July 19, 2026
What is the word count?
The word count is 93,600.
Who will enjoy this book?
Social workers, therapists, police, judges, family lawyers, and child-welfare professionals; men experiencing abuse and the people close to them; and anyone interested in an evidence-based approach to domestic violence.
Rights Agent's Notes
Living With an Abusive Woman addresses a subject that is drawing growing public and professional attention but has few dedicated books: men as victims of intimate partner violence. Its author’s credentials as a clinician and academic criminologist give it authority, and its balanced framing, which openly acknowledges the protection of women while widening the lens, makes it suitable for mainstream publishers.
The book has a dual market. It serves professionals in social work, therapy, law enforcement, and family law, who need training and reference material, and it speaks to general readers, including men living with abuse and their families. We expect particular interest from publishers with psychology, family, and social-science lists.